Dr. Pain: Prague's Medieval Dentist
BY: LITTLE SCOTTIE
MAY 19, 2020 • 8 MIN READ
All clouds have a silver lining, and this experience led me to re-kindle my blog.
So there's that.
I have had a number of visits to Dr. Pain. And to be fair, only one visit was what I would call painful.
What's painful in my book? My jaw hurt for a month after my visit. He also tortured my girlfriend, but that's getting ahead of myself. Please read on.
My first visit with Dr. Pain was about a year ago.
Oh, who is Dr. Pain? He is: MUDr. Jaromír Piskáček who has earned our family nickname "Dr. Pain". He's a so-called dentist who owns the Dental Center in Andel.
My first visit was fine. I had my teeth cleaned and Dr. Pain made a filling. Paid. Left.
Is it just me, or do you also get some kind of lockjaw after keeping your mouth wide open for an hour?
My second visit took a turn for the worse. I had my teeth cleaned, and then proceeded to Dr. Pain. He told me I needed a filling, gave me the spiel about the local anesthetic and then proceeded to grind on my teeth. Yes he put a needle in my gum and put something in there, but it had no effect. Zero, nada.
The pain coming from whatever tool he was using was like a blowtorch directly to the nerve underneath my tooth. It was searing hot. I'd like to think I have a pretty high tolerance for pain, but this pain was at a completely different level.
I'd like to think I have a pretty high tolerance for pain, but this pain was at a completely different level.
I squirmed and moaned and finally insisted that he stop. I told him that it was painful. Yes my Czech sucks, and his English is only slightly better, but this communication didn't need a translation. It hurt!
He said we should wait a minute because the local anesthetic probably didn't have time to do its thing. I was hoping he'd try a little more of the special numbing juice, but we just waited. He started again.
The pain immediately returned. Somehow I managed. I don't exactly know how, but I did. He hurried. We were done.
My jaw hurt for a month. Hey, I'm not a pussy. It was like a 5 pain the day after. It gradually when down to a 1 or 2 pain, and eventually it went away.
I did another visit—I'm a sucker for punishment. He told me that I needed to schedule a longer time because I needed a big filling and he would have to give me a lot of anesthetic. This sounded like a good plan to me. "Better living through chemistry," as my old dentist used to say.
It was weird because I scheduled the appointment as he requested, and then he didn't do anything other than a checkup. He said everything was fine and I didn't need a filling. Wait, what?? I'm I the right patient? Did you have me confused with someone? I'm I getting Alzheimer's? Don't get me wrong. I don't want dental work that I don't need, but how can a professional have such a drastic change of opinion over something this standard?
Later, his scheduling incompetence was confirmed. A few months ago, my girlfriend went to have a tooth extracted. She scheduled with Dr. Pain to have a dental anesthesiologist present. This is a service that requires a pre-payment of about 4,000 czk ($160). So you know, the anesthesiologist is the guy who gives you the IV with the 'good stuff'. She had her procedure and came out happy. Okay, maybe a little too happy.
She said that Dr. Pain didn't remove her tooth, and only made a filling. I told her that he previously made a scheduling mistake with me as well. She had to reschedule for the extraction.
That day came today.
Nobody likes dentist appointments. This morning we were talking about our schedules: She couldn't eat anything after 11, couldn't have coffee, needed to stop drinking after such and such. The normal stuff. I tried calming her by telling her about my experience with oral surgery.
About fifteen years ago, I had an oral surgeon extract 6 teeth. He took out 4 wisdom teeth and 2 lower molars. It was a total pain-free procedure. I told her that there have been great advancements in modern dentistry since the medieval times and you don't necessarily have to have pain from a dentist visit.
I believe that, but I should also be a little more specific: When you go to a good dentist. When you go to Dr. Pain you get what you get.
So we went to Dr. Pain's office. Early of course because that's how my girlfriend rolls.
I was happy because Dr. Pain's office almost within a stone's throw of Burrito Loco, (voice raises singing) and I had about an hour!
She was called into the dentists room, and I sprinted out to get a Kick Ass Burrito. It is actually called the "Kick Ass Burrito". Here's proof. So I grabbed the burrito—very helpful staff by the way— and marched across the street to Saint Wenceslas church. I found a bench in the sun and munched that bad-boy down.
I was thinking to myself the entire time what a great place this is to live. I'm also fascinated by birds. Church squares seem to always have their share of birds begging for food scraps. I like it. Let's just say the Burrito Loco, the sun and birds made for a nice break.
Then I headed back to Dr. Pain's office. I left at 2:55, I returned to his office at 3:30. I was gone for 35 minutes. As I walked in the door, I quickly looked around the lobby and she wasn't there. Good. I arrived back early so she wouldn't have to wait. I wanted to be there for her when she finished. I was feeling satisfied that I got a burrito break and returned in time.
Then a patient came out of the hygienist's office. Then another arrived to check-in.
Then I began hearing her. Directly in front of me about 6 meters was the closed door to the dentist's room. My girlfriend was in there, sobbing, and intermittently screaming. It wasn't the kind of scream you hear when someone yells, "Fire!" It was the kind of scream someone gives when being tortured. "AAAAAAhhhhhhh, oooowwwww, stttoooooop, pleasssseee!!"
I was thinking, "Is this my girlfriend? Is it someone else?" No, this is the room SHE went into. This is her, I recognize the voice no matter how shrill it is. That was my girlfriend in that room.
I became focused. I sat still with my head propped up in my hands staring at the closed door. I was 6 meters away, but I felt I could see into the room through the keyhole beneath the door handle. I was thinking to myself, "I'm going to kill that fucking bastard when he comes out."
I was thinking to myself, "I'm going to kill that fucking bastard when he comes out."
For 30 minutes I sat there in his lobby. For 30 minutes I sat there petrified. I was calm, focused, pissed at the same time. I could see others in my periphery. They were squirming and nervous. The sounds coming from behind the door were horrible.
This is supposed to be a place where you go for help, not to get hurt. Why was she screaming? I kept going back-and-forth. She has anesthetic. She has an IV. She won't remember this. The clock ticked away. 2:35 screaming, crying. 2:40, more. 2:45 continuing. Should I go in there? What exactly are they doing?
The receptionist became so uncomfortable she went into the back. I don't know exactly where, but she left the lobby momentarily.
My girlfriend continued to moan and cry --- "oooooowwwwwwww, aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh". I was focused on the door like a laser. Finally, the clock ticked to 3:00 and the door opened.
I laid eyes on my girlfriend and she had tears streaming down her blood-stained face. She was sobbing and fell into my arms. I asked her if they hurt her and she said they did. I asked her why and she said she didn't know. I hugged her helplessly. She was mentally and physically destroyed. I helped her sit down. I grabbed a cup of water and a napkin and began wiping the blood from her face and the corners of her mouth. She continued to cry.
The anesthesiologist came out and started giving me instructions. I couldn't hear him. The thoughts running through my mind drown out whatever he was trying to tell me. He does seem like a nice man, but at that particular time I really didn't care what he had to say. I wanted to talk to the doctor.
I went to the receptionist and demanded to speak with the doctor. She started to ask a question, about who exactly. I interrupted her and demanded to see "THE DOCTOR". She sheepishly opened the door behind her. He came out. Presumably he could hear me as my voice has a way of projecting at TIMES LIKE THIS.
So I asked him, no I told him, that he hurt her. I said, "You hurt her." Pointing at my girlfriend. "She's crying. Why did you hurt her?" I asked. He said the tooth was sideways indicating a curl with his fingertips. I said, but you hurt her, she's crying. Why did you do that? And he said in a very caviler tone, "She just must be sensitive to pain."
Really? It's her fault? At what point during 30 minutes of screaming does it occur to you that the anesthetic isn't working properly, you moron? It's her fault that it hurt. She's to blame Dr. Pain? The procedure is painful, that's why she paid extra for an anesthesiologist and why you should properly administer local anesthesia.
Really. It's her sensitivity to pain? You're pathetic.
He retreated into his office as quickly as he appeared.
Dr. Pain's website talks about pain. Oh, that's cute. It's under the tab "Painless Treatment".
From his website: "Some dental procedures can be more or less painful for patients. The pain threshold is not the same in all patients. However, our doctors have the means to relieve the patient of pain and thus make the treatment more pleasant." "However, our doctors have the means to relieve the patient of pain ... " That's a promise not kept.
And, "Anesthesia is given to patients during surgery, or if the patient wants to perform more than one treatment at a time, or if there is an increased fear of routine dental treatment." Exactly what kind of "anesthesia" is given? Is that saline in your vile?
And, "Deep sedation is a term used to obstruct a patient with a special drug." But you'll be awakened from it suddenly by immense pain.
Just in case you would like to see what I'm looking at, here is a screenshot.
So somehow we are getting through it. Put my girl to bed. She's still in pain. As I was putting her to bed she told me it still hurts, still bleeding and simply, "He's a butcher."
I have something to say to Dr. Pain, but I think Sam Kinison said it best:
Experiences dentist pain Anděl